


Dude, Shut up.

by 126orphanz



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Crack, Fluff, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, No Smut, OOC, School, Textfic, can u guys not clown me on twt for this thx, chatfic, homies being homies, how do I title things, i really dont know, idk - Freeform, idots, im so tired, laugh at them please, like im genuinely pulling an all nighter fueled by monsters, mcyt - Freeform, might make this a series, my chapter titles are so funny, no ships, not the idots disbanding as i write this LMFAO, shitpost, some of my twitter mutuals gave this kudos im crying, thats weirdchamp, the idots - Freeform, to write this, toes, uhh idk, why do i only ever update at 2 am
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 11,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/126orphanz/pseuds/126orphanz
Summary: Every textfic I see barely includes the Idots and I decided to write about them instead
Relationships: F1NN5TER (Video Blogging RPF) & Zak Ahmed, George | Spifey & Harvey | TapL, Jacob | Zelk & MegaPVP (Video Blogging RPF), JustVurb & Zak Ahmed, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed & George | Spifey, Zak Ahmed & Jacob | Zelk & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed & MegaPVP
Comments: 69
Kudos: 241





	1. Society has progressed past the need for Vurb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for reference (forgot to add earlier)  
> toepicspls - vurb  
> woman - f1nn5ter  
> zelk - zelk  
> badboyhalo - badboyhalo  
> skep - skeppy  
> tapw - tapl  
> spoofy - spifey  
> megapvp - megapvp

**idots**

**8:09 AM**

**zelk:** i think society has progressed past the need for vurb

 **zelk:** its only 8 in the morning

 **zelk:** and hes already talking about toes

 **zelk:** im so tired 

**skep:** L

 **spoofy:** L

 **tapw:** L

 **woman:** try having 3 classes with him

 **zelk:** YOU DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM AT 8AM

 **woman:** the difference between 8 and 9am is only an hour

 **woman:** if anything hes WORSE in my classes

 **toepicspls:** i only grow stronger as the day goes on

 **woman:** sometimes i regret being friends with you

 **tapw:** ^

 **tapw:** my day be going so fine

 **tapw:** then boom

 **tapw:** vurb

 **toepicspls:** tapl u will be the first person i steal toes from

 **toepicspls:** this is a threat

 **tapw:** wtf

**9:25 AM**

**woman:** harv you might want to hide your toes

 **woman:** vurbs's out for blood

 **tapw:**??????????

 **tapw:** is he not in class with you???

 **tapw:** OHJMYGOD HE'S HERE

 **tapw:** HEJUST WALKED BY MY CLASSROOM

 **woman:** good luck, mate

 **woman:** i warned you

 **toepicspls:** 30 minutes

 **toepics:** and i have the ability to fight you for your toes

 **tapw:** vurb please im begging you

 **tapw:** go bother zak or something please

 **skep:** i was gonna defend u

 **skep:** ur on ur own now lol

 **tapw:** wait please

 **tapw:** i take it back please i want to keep my toes

 **badboyhalo:** skeppy you cant just leave him to die D:

 **skep:** bruh moment

 **skep:** fine ill go rescue him

 **tapw:** my hero


	2. Wink wink

**idots**

**11:45 AM**

**woman:** tapl

 **woman:** you havent said anything since 2nd period

 **woman:** did vurb actually take your toes

 **tapw:** IM ALIVE

 **tapw:** ZAK KICKED HIM IN THE SHINS AND I RAN

 **toepicspls:** pain

 **toepicspls:** my plans are ruined but i will be victorious one day

 **spoofy:** harv maybe you should just give him your toes

 **spoofy:** end the war now while you still can

 **zelk:** youre STILL talking about toes

 **zelk:** jesus christ

 **toepicspls:** we can talk about YOUR toes if you want

 **toepicspls:** wink wink

 **zelk:** i wish i had the ability to remove you from this group

 **badboyhalo:** im the only one allowed to do that >.<

 **skep:** u sjould give the rest of us permissions to do tgat

 **badboyhalo:** ABSOLUTELY NOT

 **skep:** :( i thought u loved me

 **badboyhalo:** I DO D:

 **badboyhalo:** i just dont trust you at all

 **toepicspls:** stop flirting in the groupchat

 **zelk:** ^

 **spoofy:** ^

 **skep:** i hate u all

 **skep:** so much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter than last time but whatevs


	3. Struggle hours

**idots**

**8:56 PM**

**zelk:** i just realized

 **zelk:** we never added mega to the chat

 **skep:** good

 **skep:** hes stupdi

 **spoofy:** stupdi

 **skep:** shut up

 **badboyhalo:** oh fudge, youre right >.>

 **badboyhalo:** ill add him in a sec

 **toepicspls:** bad arent you tired of censoring yourself

 **toepicspls:** dont you want to swear

 **toepicspls:** even just once

 **skep:** if bad swears tge world will end

 **badboyhalo:** I’M NOT GOING TO SWEAR

 **toepicspls:** have you ever considered it at least

 **badboyhalo:** NO

 **zelk:** please add mega in

 **zelk:** or at least give me the ability to do it

 **badboyhalo:** i dont trust any of you with that

 _**badboyhalo**_ ****_added_ _ **megapvp** to **idots**_

 **megapvp:** why

 **skep:** HELLO MEGA :D

 **megapvp:** no

 **skep:** okay well screw u

**3:14 AM**

**spoofy:** wait did we have homework

 **spoofy:** in math

 **spoofy:** harv

 **tapw:** YEAH HOLD ON ILL SEND IT

 **skep:** sto pyelling wtf

 **tapw:** caps sry

 **tapw:** spif i sent my answers to you

 **spoofy:** THANK YOU

 **zelk:** wait can you send me the answers too??

 **tapw:** do you guys just not do the homework ever

 **spoofy:** I DIDNT KNOW WE HAD ANY

 **tapw:** SHE TOLD US 4 DIFFENRET TIMES IN CLASS

 **spoofy:** I DIDNT KNOW

 **spoofy:** AND NEITHER DID ZELK

 **zelk:** no, i knew

 **zelk:** i would’ve done it right before class today

 **zelk:** but since you asked him for answers first..

 **tapw:** you guys suck

**7:06 AM**

**badboyhalo:** oh my goodness, why were you all up so late? >.>

 **tapw:** caffeine

 **spoofy:** minecraft

 **zelk:** homework

 **megapvp:** if you had done your hw after school

 **megapvp:** you wouldnt be up at 3 am

 **zelk:** i was busy shut up

 **megapvp:** busy doing what

 **megapvp:** playing minecraft?

 **toepicspls:** busy sending me toe pics lol

 **zelk:** jesus christ

 **zelk:** no but i had to help a family friend move furniture and stuff

 **megapvp:** oh ok

 **zelk:** and then i played minecraft for like 6 hours lol

 **megapvp:**...

**10:26 AM**

**woman:** I OVERSLEPT

 **woman:** HELP

 **skep:** finnhiw do u expect us to help u

 **skep:** when we r at school

 **woman:** YOU COULD COME PICK ME UP

 **skep:** i walked to school lmao ur screwed sry

 **woman:** at least try to seem sorry please

 **woman:** i need emotional support in a time like this

 **skep:** ask bad for emotional support

 **skep:** ur suffering is entertaining

 **woman:** bro 

**skep:** just ask bad to come oick u up

 **woman:** how do i get his attention

 **skep:** idk most of the time i just spam him until he responds

 **skep:** hes mor likely to answer if u swear

 **woman:** fuck

 **badboyhalo:** LANGUAGE

 **woman:** do you just ignore us unless we’re swearing

 **badboyhalo:** i was about to respond >.>

 **woman:** oh

 **woman:** so can u pick me up or

 **badboyhalo:** after this class i can :D

 **skep:** ur skipping next period??

 **badboyhalo:** the teacher likes me, it’s okay

 **skep:** how do u get teachers to like u i want to skip too

 **woman:** well for starters you actually have to show up to class every day

 **badboyhalo:** ^

 **badboyhalo:** and i’m not teaching you how to skip class, skeppy

 **skep:** :(

 **skep:** i want a divorce

 **badboyhalo:** NOOO IM SORRY PLEASE D:

 **woman:** i just ruined a marriage by oversleeping

 **woman:** not my finest moment


	4. Stupid british people

**idots**

**1:14 PM**

**woman:** just watched spifey cry because he couldn't remember how to spell orange

 **spoofy:** YOU COULD HAVE HELPED ME

 **woman:** i take joy in your struggles

 **badboyhalo:** how do you just forget how to spell orange?

 **zelk:** he's british.

 **badboyhalo:** ohhhh so they probably spell it like oraunge, right?

 **badboyhalo:** eauxraung

 **woman:** i???

 **woman:** bad we spell it the same way you do

 **woman:** spifey's just an idiot

**3:26 PM**

**skep:** bad

 **skep:** bbh

 **skep:** bad

 **skep:** :(

 **megapvp:** ignored by your own best friend

 **megapvp:** sucks to suck lol

 **skep:** :(

 **skep:** bbh

 **skep:** bad

 **skep:** badboyhalo

 **skep:** light of my life

 **skep:** rly? tgat didnt work??

 **skep:** bro

 **zelk:** please for rhe love of god just TEXT HIM

 **zelk:** in a SEPARATE CHAT

 **zelk:** PLEASE

 **skep:** i jsut asnwatned jto paoly mcinefaat :(((((

 **zelk:**???????

 **skep:** ?????????????????????????

 **skep:** i miss bad

 **megapvp:** you saw him literally an hour ago

 **skep:** but i miss him :((

 **megapvp:** ur annoying

 **skep:** i hate u

 **megapvp:** die

 **skep:** mega

 **megapvp:**?

 **skep:** wanna play bedwars

 **skep:** pls say ys

 **megapvp:** no

 **skep:** ill pay u 5 bucks tmrw

 **skep:** pls dude

 **megapvp:** deal

 **zelk:** wow where was my invitation

 **skep:** zelk would u like to play bedwars with us for free

 **zelk:** AND no money wow

 **zelk:** i see how it is

 **skep:** ONE TIME OFFER JOIN NOW OR NEEVR

**4:06 PM**

**badboyhalo:** SKEPPY WAIT

 **badboyhalo:** I WAS TAKING A NAP D:

 **skep:** i needed you

 **skep:** and you were ASLEEP

 **badboyhalo:** YOU WERE PLAYING A VIDEO GAME

 **badboyhalo:** YOU DID NOT NEED ME

 **skep:** SO THATS ALL IT IS TO YOU

 **skep:** A VIDEO GAME

 **zelk:** oh my god stop arguing ask him the question

 **skep:** FINE

 **skep:** wanan play bedwars

 **skep:** with me

 **skep:** and mega and zelk

 **badboyhalo:** yes :D

 **skep:** :DDD


	5. The t in tapl stands for tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh damn actual writing

**idots**

**9:02 AM**

**toepicspls:** harv

**toepicspls:** u good??

**spoofy:**?

**toepicspls:** i passed him in the hall

**toepicspls:** he looked like he was about to die

**tapw:** imso itered

**tapw:** i habnt slpet

**tapw:** in2 days

**toepicspls:** dude

**toepicspls:** go to sleep????

**tapw:** IAM IN SHCOOL SDO UDTHAINK I CNA SLEPE RIGHT NOW

**spoofy:** oh no he's spelling like zak now

**spoofy:** this is bad

**toepicspls:** LOL

**toepicspls:** harv do u want me to get you

**toepicspls:** like

**toepicspls:** coffee or something??

**tapw:** pls

**tapw:** ill payu bcack i promse

**toepicspls:** its chill you dont have to

**9:15 AM**

**woman:** vurb just left in the middle of class lmao???

**spoofy:** he’s actually leaving to get coffee for tapl rn????

**toepicspls:** coffee is more important than class

**9:37 AM**

**tapw:** vurb ****

**tapw:** rhank u

**toepicspls:** <33

**spoofy:** did you just walk into his class

**spoofy:** to give him coffee

**toepicspls:** yes

**toepicspls:** and i looked really cool and mysterious doing it

**toepicspls:** win win situation

**spoofy:** youre known as the guy who asked the principle for toe pics last year

**spoofy:** not very mysterious

**spoofy:** maybe terrifying

**spoofy:** but not mysterious

**toepicspls:** damn

**woman:** vurb come back to class

**woman:** i told the teacher u were just going to the bathroom but i dont think she believes me anymore

**toepicspls:** fine ill come back

**toepicspls:** i dont think she’ll like me leaving for the bathroom and coming back with coffee but

**toepicspls:** ill show up

**12:06 PM**

The group of friends slowly regrouped at their lunch table, which was in the back corner of the cafeteria.

Some took longer to get their, having classes farther away or actually buying lunch that day.

Harvey sat with his head resting in his arms. He’d finished the coffee Vurb gave him nearly three hours ago, yet was still tired. Harvey lifted his head up when he felt the table shift slightly. It was Bad, who had his bag in his lap.

”Want a redbull?” He asked, showing Harvey his collection of energy drinks.

“ _Dude_ ,” Zak said before Harvey could take one, “I thought you stopped drinking those.”

Harvey thought back to all the times Bad had been on a call with them, sleep deprived and drinking redbulls. While Zak’s concern was valid, Harvey was thankful for the extra caffeine source.

”I didn’t _stop_ drinking them.” Bad said as he handed Harvey a can. “I just drink them _less_ now.”

"You're dumb." Zak stated, reaching in to the bag and grabbing a can for himself as the rest of the group joined them at the table.

**idots**

**3:14 PM**

**tapw:** sleepy timr tahnk u guys for hte coffe nad redbull

**spoofy:** gn harv

**badboyhalo:** have a good nap :D

**toepicspls:** sleep well dude

**megapvp:** did you really say gn to him

**megapvp:** at 3 pm

**spoofy:** never too early to say goodnight :)

**megapvp:** ew

**spoofy:** mega one day you will say goodnight to us

**spoofy:** and i will not say it back

**spoofy:** because ur stupid

**megapvp:** why would i say goodnight to you

**spoofy:** because you love me????

**toepicspls:** bold assumptions geo

**megapvp:** ^

**spoofy:** sad


	6. Hypothetical chick fil a wit da homiez

**idots**

**2:16 AM**

**tapw:** HELLO BOYS I HAVE RISEN FROM MY SLUMBER I AM READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD

 **zelk:** its 2 am

 **tapw:** TAKING ON THE WORLD DOES NOT HAVE A SET TIME

 **zelk:** you will be taking on the world alone

 **zelk:** as i will be asleep

 **tapw:** BETRAYAL

 **tapw:** IWAKE UP AND AM MET WITH BETRAYAL

 **zelk:** cope

 **zelk:** im going to bed

 **tapw:** pain

**7:35 AM**

**woman:** hypothetically

 **woman:** if i just didn't show up to school today

 **woman:** would i be facing any consequences

 **skep:** id be very sad

 **woman:** i said consequences tho

 **woman:** not more reasons to skip

 **skep:** but babe :(

 **woman:** babe :(

 **zelk:** i think im missing important information here

 **skep:** whats so wrong about calling the homies babe

 **toepicspls:** ur cheating on bbh???

 **skep:** omg

 **woman:** UR CHEATING ON ME??

 **skep:** i hate u guys

 **skep:** finn maybe u should stay home

 **zelk:** uh oh relationship problems

 **skep:** ok maybe ILL stay home then

 **skep:** not trying to get divorced again lol

 **badboyhalo:** you can't just skip school to avoid marriage problems >.<

 **badboyhalo:** go to school, both of you

 **woman:** pain

 **skep:** ^

**11:16 AM**

**spoofy:** we should hang out after school or something lol

 **spoofy:** since its friday

 **spoofy:** y'know

 **tapw:** BANGER TWEET

 **spoofy:** harv this isnt twitter

 **tapw:** BANGER MESSAGE

 **toepicspls:** we should go to the mall

 **toepicspls:** its been a while

 **megapvp:** its been a while because you got us kicked out last time

 **toepicspls:** HEY

 **toepicspls:** it was also finns fault

 **woman:** how was i supposed to know it was glass and not a bouncy ball

 **toepicspls:** ^

 **megapvp:** IT LITERALLY SAID GLASS DO NOT TOUCH ON THE SIGN

 **woman:** and you expect me to know how to read?

 **woman:** thats on you

 **toepicspls:** yeah, shame on you mega

 **woman:** i cant believe mega got us kicked us out of the mall

 **megapvp:**...

 **megapvp:** leaving this chat becomes more tempting every day i am in it

**11:55 AM**

**skep:** have to take a test at lunch

 **skep:** lmk if anything happens

 **spoofy:** kk

**12:36 PM**

**zelk:** we never decided on where to go

 **skep:** chick fil a

 **skep:** we should go

 **skep:** im hungry

 **tapw:** im down

 **spoofy:** ^

 **woman:** ^^

 **toepicspls:** ^^^

 **zelk:** ^^^^

 **megapvp:** ok

 **zelk:** u ruined it

 **megapvp:** cry about it

 **badboyhalo:** im down :D

 **skep:** :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watched unus annus end while i wrote this :( im am sad


	7. Getting kicked out of chick fil a wit da homie

**idots**

**2:14 PM**

**badboyhalo:** sorry guys! i cant go to chick fil a with you today D:

 **tapw:** OH NO

 **tapw:** why not? :(

 **badboyhalo:** my brothers visiting so my mom wants me to come home right after school

 **skep:** TEJL UR BROTHER IS AID HI

 **woman:** bad let us talk to your brother

 **woman:** we like him better

 **badboyhalo:** D:

 **skep:** dotn be mean to bad idiot

 **skep:** tekl him we siad hi or u suck pls bad

 **badboyhalo:** >.> fine

 **badboyhalo:** have fun after school guys :D

 **skep:** <333

**3:54 PM**

**megapvp:** bad i think its best you didn’t come

 **badboyhalo:** D: why?

 **megapvp:** no i meant like

 **megapvp:** i just watched finn and vurb spill soda everywhere

 **megapvp:** theyre arguing with a worker now

 **tapw:** i just wanted to get food

 **tapw:** not watch my friends fight some innocent person

 **toepicspls:** HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW TURNING THE DRINKS UPSIDE DOWN WOULD MAKE THEM SPILL

 **zelk:** ???? 

**skep:** harv join me im pretending i dont know them so i can get my food

 **zelk:** bad maybe you shouldve come today

 **megapvp:** yeah this is your fault bad

 **badboyhalo** : I WOULDVE IF I COULD D:

 **skep:** dont be mean to bad hes a struggling mother of like

 **skep:** 7??

 **spoofy:** wouldnt it be 6

 **skep:** i think i counted right theres 8 people in this chat right??

 **spoofy:** but youre his wife?

 **skep:** bad give me perms to remove ppl pls

 **skep:** i need to do something

 **spoofy:** ur just mad im right

 **skep:** shut up 

**skep:** bruhhh theyre getting kicked out

 **skep:** idiots

 **badboyhalo:** >.>

**5:06 PM**

**woman:** do you think theyre going to let us come back to chick fil a

 **zelk:** finn you spilled soda everywhere and then proceeded to try and fight a worker who told you not to spill soda

 **zelk:** and THEN got kicked out

 **woman:** IN MY DEFENSE

 **woman:** it was vurb trying to fight them

 **toepicspls:** YOURE THE REASON THE WORKER SHOWED UP

 **zelk:** youre both idiots

 **woman:** wait i just had an idea

 **woman:** if i show up dressed as a woman would they recognize me

 **toepicspls:** okay not all of us can do that and sneak into chick fil a shut up

 **woman:** sucks to suck lol

 **tapw:** would you really get all dressed up just to go to chick fil a

 **tapw:** they have drive thrus

 **tapw:** AND DELIVERY

 **toepicspls:** let him have the excuse

 **toepicspls:** he just wants to dress up again

 **woman:** just doing it for the lols

 **woman:** and also to confuse some poor people

 **zelk:** i feel like that shouldnt be your motive seeing as you were JUST kicked out of the place but i cant stop you

 **woman:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idots disbanded :( but in my heart they are still the idots


	8. These are my sklasses baby

**idots**

**7:45 AM**

**woman:** skeppy with glasses

 **woman:** awooga

 **skep:** stfu

 **skep:** i couldnt find my contacts

 **skep:** and im blind

 **tapw:** skeppy with glasses

 **tapw:** sklasses

 **skep:** harv i will literally punt u

 **spoofy:** youre like the same height as him will you even be able to

 **skep:** i take so much offense to that

 **tapw:** ??????

 **skep:** ur like 3 feet tall lol

 **tapw:** im going to buy heels one day

 **tapw:** just to be taller than you

 **spoofy:** youd still be shorter than me

 **tapw:** SHUT UP

**9:14 AM**

**zelk:** hypothetically

 **zelk:** if i was stuck in a locker

 **zelk:** what would be the best way to get out

 **megapvp:** zelk

 **zelk:** mega

 **megapvp:** are you stuck in a locker

 **zelk:** depends on if you'll help me get out or not

 **megapvp:** yes

 **zelk:** im stuck in a locker

 **spoofy:** you're stuck in a locker?

 **spoofy:** was that willingly??? or

 **zelk:** oh no it was

 **zelk:** i wanted to see if i could lock myself in here

 **zelk:** and now im stuck

 **spoofy:** wtf

 **spoofy:** you're kind of stupid

 **zelk:** shut up

 **zelk:** mega please

 **zelk:** come rescue me

 **megapvp:** k

 **megapvp:** you are in your own locker right?

 **zelk:** yes wtf

 **zelk:** u think id lock myself in someone elses locker??

 **megapvp:** ...

**11:03 AM**

**toepicspls:** spifey

 **toepicspls:** ill give u 5 bucks if u steal skeps glasses

 **spoofy:** why

 **toepicspls:** i want to see him struggle

 **toepicspls:** dont tell him that tho

 **skep:** WTF ????????

 **skep:** ?????????????????????

 **toepicspls:** this would be a GREAT time to be able to ban people from the chat

 **skep:** bro

 **skep:** is this because i wont send u toe pics

 **toepicspls:** only partially

 **skep:** bad defend me pls :(

 **badboyhalo:** vurb dont take skeppys glasses

 **badboyhalo:** actually

 **badboyhalo:** do it i think he deserves it

 **skep:** WTFFFF

 **badboyhalo:** language >:0

 **skep:** fuck u

 **badboyhalo:** WHAT

 **toepicspls:** omg zak how could u say that

 **skep:** im literally

 **skep:** bro

 **skep:** stfu

**1:04 PM**

**woman:** id kill for some chick fil a rn

 **spoofy:** it hasnt even been a week

 **woman:** i dont think my appetite knows how to tell time

 **spoofy:** okay but you also got kicked out like 4 days ago

 **spoofy:** just go to mcdonalds idiot

 **woman:** mcdonalds does not make good food

 **spoofy:** is that really a problem??

 **woman:** im getting mcdonalds screw class

 **badboyhalo:** STOP SKIPPING CLASS

 **woman:** YOUVE SKIPPED CLASS TO COME PICK ME UP???

 **badboyhalo:** THATS DIFFERENT

 **woman:** HOW IS IT DIFFERENT

 **badboyhalo:** IT JUST IS

 **woman:** BRUH

 **woman:** bad do you want anything from mcdonalds

 **badboyhalo:** can you get me fries :D

 **woman:** hell yeah

 **spoofy:** will you get me fries? :(

 **woman:** ew no

 **spoofy:** :(


	9. Consuming children at 7 in the AM

**idots**

**3:26 AM**

**spoofy:** what if mike is short for micycle

 **zelk:** spifey i am begging you to shut up

 **zelk:** please

 **tapw:** is bike short for bichael??

 **zelk:** oh my god

 **spoofy:** micycle rides his bichael to school every day

 **zelk:** youre both stupid

 **zelk:** i hate you guys

 **zelk:** i just want to sleep

 **megapvp:** is this like that argument u guys had over if tater tots was short for potato toddlers or not

 **tapw:** IT IS I SWEAR IT IS

 **tapw:** TATER IS LITERALLY SHORT FOR POTATO

 **tapw:** AND THEN TOT IS SHORT FOR TODDLER

 **spoofy:** NO ITS NOT

 **zelk:** mega why

 **tapw:** THEN EXPLAIN TOYS FOR TOTS BITCJ

 **spoofy:** THATS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT ITS A DIFFERENT CONTEXT

 **tapw:** IT DOESNT MATTER ITS LITERALLY A POTATO TODDLER

 **tapw:** A SMALL POTATO

 **spoofy:** HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I JUST STARTED CALLING YOU A HUMAN TOT 

**spoofy:** YOURE SMALL

 **tapw:** BUT IM NOT A TODDLER

 **megapvp:** im muting my phone

 **megapvp:** gn

 **spoofy:** EXACTLY

 **tapw:** ONAY SHUT UP

 **spoofy:** YOU SHUT UP

 **tapw:** FINE

 **spoofy:** FINE

 **zelk:** are you done

 **zelk:** can i go back to bed

 **spoofy:** yes

 **zelk:** you guys are as bad as bad and skeppy jfc

 **tapw:** as bad as bad

 **tapw:** what a weird thing to say

 **zelk:** im going to bed

**7:20 AM**

**toepicspls:** potato toddlers

 **toepicspls:** wtf

 **tapw:** im right just admit it

 **toepicspls:** that makes me feel like ive eaten children

 **zelk:** you act like thats a bad thing

 **toepicspls:** zelk what

 **toepicspls:** have you eaten children????

 **toepicspls:** zelk

 **zelk:** yeah?

 **toepicspls:** wtf

 **zelk:** i think eating children is something that should be normalized in our society

 **toepicspls:** so youll say this and then say toes are weird

 **toepicspls:** okay man

 **zelk:** CANNIBALISM CAN BE JUSTIFIED

 **zelk:** TOES CANT

 **toepicspls:** YOU HAVE TOES

 **zelk:** I MEANT TOE KINKS

 **zelk:** OH MY HOD

 **tapw:** stopuelling its too early

 **spoofy:** why are you fighting at 7 am

 **toepicspls:** its 7:27

 **toepicspls:** idiot

 **spoofy:** why

 **zelk:** you were literally fighting with tapl at 3 am????

**7:46 AM**

**skep:** bad

 **skep:** bbh

 **skep:** ???????

 **skep:** ehy aeent u at school

 **skep:** bbh

 **skep:** badboyhalo

 **skep:** did u die

 **skep:** hello

 **skep:** ??????????????

 **skep:** im coming over after school to make sure u didnt die <333

 **toepicspls:** how romantic

 **skep:** stfu

**10:48 AM**

**badboyhalo:** dont cone over skeppy

 **badboyhalo:** ithink im getting sick please dony

 **toepicspls:** haha L

 **badboyhalo:** :(

 **skep:** well now i have toncome over

 **badboyhalo:** i dont eanna get you sick skeppy :(

 **skep:** ill bring u muffins

 **badboyhalo:** i cant taste anything

 **skep:** ill come oever and make u happy with my presence???????

 **badboyhalo:** >:(

 **skep:** i see that as a yes unlock ur window iwill be there

 **woman:** youre going to break into his house???????

 **skep:** yes

 **woman:** i hope you fall and break your leg trying to get in the window

 **skep:** bruh

 **woman:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes im stealing jokes from 2014 tumblr i needed inspiration


	10. Putting the bad in badboyhalo

**idots**

**4:14 PM**

**badboyhalo:** im gonna swear

**badboyhalo:** fuck

**tapw:** WHAT

**spoofy:** ??????

**toepicpls:** hes finally snapped

**toepicspls:** fear

**megapvp:** isnt skeppy at his house

**tapw:** OH

**tapw:** i forgot

**spoofy:** ^

**toepicspls:** ^^

**skep:** mega i hate u

**skep:** so much

**badboyhalo:** yeah mega stfu

**megapvp:** stop using him to defend yourself oh my god

**woman:** is he just letting you do this?? or

**zelk:** it feels so wrong seeing the word fuck next to badboyhalo

**skep:** hes sleeping :)

**zelk:** you broke into his phone?????

**tapw:** zak waited until bad slept to go against everything he stands for

**skep:** first of all

**skep:** my thumb print is in his phone

**skep:** i got here legally

**toepicspls:** he wont let me put my fingerprint in his phone wtf

**zelk:** last time you had one of our phones you filled it with toe pics

**tapw:** yeah MY PHONE

**toepicspls:** if it makes you feel better

**toepicspls:** they werent mine

**tapw:** that isnt comforting at all

**tapw:** whos toes do you have

**spoofy:** it might be mine

**tapw** : WHAT

**spoofy:** i lost a bet okay

**woman:** vurb x spifey confirmed????

**zelk:** vibey

**spoofy:** yeah me and vurb are married

**megapvp:** ive witnessed too many marriages in this chat

**toepicspls:** ill agree to that only if im the wife

**spoofy:** wait no i wanna be the wife

**toepicspls:** i already called dibs

**spoofy:** :( fine

**tapw:** romance is beautiful <3

**5:16 PM**

**badboyhalo:** SKEPPY

**badboyhalo:** OG MY GOODNESS

**badboyhalo:** DDID YOU SEIROUSLY USE M Y PHONE

**badboyhalo:** TO SWEAR

**badboyhalo:** IN THE CHAT

**skep:** hahfsahdh no why would i do that that would be so mean and dumb haha :)

**tapw:** vouch

**woman:** i can confirm he never did such a thing

**badboyhalo:** skeppy i hope you get sicj

**badboyhalo:** if iwasnt so nauseous

**badboyhalo:** i would go downstairs

**badboyhalo:** and strangle you

**skep:** and to think iwas just about to brng you some soup

**tapw:** u know how to cook?

**woman:** u made food??? no one died????

**badboyhalo:** ^

**skep:** the lackof faith u guys have in me

**skep:** it hurts

**skep:** im here slaving away like a HOUSEWIFE

**skep:** MAKING BAD SOME SOUP

**skep:** AND YOURE INSULTING ME

**woman:** remember that one time you called me at 4 in the morning because you set your microwave on fire

**skep:** that was so long ago

**woman:** it was last month

**skep:** ive matured

**tapw:** remember when he tried to make cookies and left the eggshells in

**badboyhalo:** and made me try the first one >.>

**skep:** i made soup and it tastes good shut up

**tapw:** if bad gets even more sick after eating it

**tapw:** ill have reason to believe it was you

**woman:** isnt there a show about housewives who murdered their husbands

**skep:** i aM NOT GOING TO KILL BAD LEAVE ME ALONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (short chapter sorry!! im trying to update more frequently/write a longer chapter next)  
> the way i started this as a shitpost while pulling an all nighter one night but now people are actually enjoying it  
> i just-  
> its so comforting to know people are looking forward to what i write


	11. Dude this is so sick

**idots**

**7:09 AM**

**skep:** i tjink babd gt me sick

 **skep:** ihate uba d 

**zelk:** skep got so sick hes illiterate

 **skep:** i just put my glasse s on stfyu

 **skep:** im gna go to school because im not a bitcj like bbh

 **zelk:** bruh youre gonna get us all sick

 **skep:** i want u 2 suffer with me

 **zelk:** stay home idiot

 **skep:** bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **skep:** gn

**12:06 PM**

**toepicspls:** skeppy you should come to school and get tommy sick

 **toepicspls:** fuck tommy

 **zelk:** what did tommy do to you?????

 **toepicspls:** he stole my chocolate milk :(

 **tapw:** NOOOOO

 **tapw:** nOT THE CHOCOLATE MILK

 **tapw:** BEAT HIM UP BEAT HIM UP

 **badboyhalo:** DO NOT BEAT HIM UP

 **badboyhalo:** I WILL COME TO SCHOOL TO MAKE SURE YOU DONT

 **zelk:** pls no i dont wanna get sick

 **toepicspls:** come cough on zelk he doesnt support our violence

 **zelk:** but if im against bad showing up to stop you

 **zelk:** wouldnt i be on your side

 **toepicspls:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **toepicspls:** oh

 **toepicspls:** fuck you bad

 **badboyhalo:** LANGUAGE

 **badboyhalo:** I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE I WILL GET YOU SICK

 **toepicspls:** I MOVED

 **badboyhalo:** I WAS AT YOUR HOUSE 2 WEEKS AGO??

 **toepicspls:** oh shit uh

 **toepicspls:** im an orphan

 **toepicspls:** homeless

 **toepicspls:** living in the streets

 **badboyhalo:** LANGUAGE >.>

 **toepicspls:** infect zelk he deserves it more

 **zelk:** ????

**4:13 PM**

**skep:** good morning

 **woman:** stfu

 **skep:** :(

 **woman:** you got to sleep while the rest of us had to suffer

 **skep:** sorry that im sick?????

 **skep:** blame bad????

 **woman:** he was awake today 

**woman:** screw you

 **skep:** im coming back tmrw shut

 **zelk:** youll still be contagious

 **skep:** ill cough on u dw

 **zelk:** ????

 **woman:** cough on zelk im tired of seeing him at school

 **zelk:** WHAT DID I DO TO YOU

 **woman:** idk

 **zelk:** wtf

**7:13 AM**

**skep:** will i die if i drink half a thing of nyquil

 **skep:** hypothetically speaking ok

 **toepicspls:** probably

 **megapvp:** ^

 **megapvp:** you should try it

 **skep:** thx mega ily2

 **skep:** i mighy try it

 **toepicspls:** bro u might actually die

 **skep:** well

 **zelk:** please tell me youre not actually going to do it

 **skep:** i have nothing else

 **skep:** i want to breathe clearly

 **toepicspls:** wait dont do it yet

 **toepicspls:** do it at school so u dont die on the way there

 **skep:** u right

 **skep:** ok ill see u all latr gn

 **megapvp:** gn???

 **skep:** i meant goodbye

 **skep:** shut up idot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woops also a short chapter srry Lmfao


	12. Breaking ankles to wear heels with wheels

**idots**

**10:26 AM**

**woman:** skep you didnt actually drink half a bottle of nyquil right

 **skep:** i didnt dw

 **woman:** okay good

 **skep:** i tjink bad would kill me if i did

 **zelk:** youd probably die before he got you ngl

 **skep:** tempting

 **skep:** waut does nyquil count as drugs

 **zelk:** probably??

 **skep:** oh

**11:14 AM**

**tapw:** i want heelys

 **toepicspls:** why??

 **tapw:** zoom

 **spoofy:** WE SHOULD ALL GET HEELYS

 **tapw:** WE SHOULD

 **toepicspls:** tapl arent you the one that sprained his ankle trying to rollerskate

 **tapw:** WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT

 **tapw:** heelys are different :L

 **spoofy:** :L ???????

 **tapw:** its the face my minecraft skin has

 **tapw:** im gonna be like bad and use emoticons

 **spoofy:** emoticons

 **tapw:** isnt that what theyre called

 **spoofy:** idk its a big word though

 **toepicspls:** harv u should get high heels and attach wheels to them

 **toepicspls:** so u can be tall and zoom

 **tapw:** HIGH HEELYS

 **spoofy:** pls no you will literally break your ankles

 **tapw:** HIGH HEELYS

 **toepicspls:** HIGH HEELYS

 **spoofy:** DONT ENCOURAGE HIM

 **spoofy:** YOU WATCHED HIMSPRAIN HIS ANKLE LAST TIME I KNOW YOU DID

 **toepicspls:** yeah but i wanna record it this time around LOL

 **tapw:** aw man i thought you were on my side

 **toepicspls:** I AM i just think it would be really funny if you broke your ankles

 **tapw:** :(

**12:06 PM**

**skep:** i misss bad

 **megapvp:** L

 **zelk:** the audacity u have to say that

 **zelk:** while we are all SITTING NEXT TO YOU

 **skep:** but bad isnt :(

 **spoofy:** stfu

 **woman:** stfu

 **megapvp:** stfu

 **toepicspls:** stfu

 **tapw:** why are we texting instead of talking

 **tapw:** this is so dumb

 **megapvp:** well

 **tapw:** ok u know what i meant mega

 **woman:** im not at the table yet i feel so included

 **skep:** i miss finn

 **woman:** stfu

 **skep:** all of my marriages r failing

 **skep:** my life is in shambles

 **woman:** im surprised you could spell shambles

 **toepicspls:** im surprised he knew what the word meant LMAO

 **skep:** i am the smartest person in this groupchat

 **skep:** finn theyre laughing at me help

 **woman:** im laughing too dont worry <3

 **skep:** nvm i dont miss u only bad

 **skep:** at least hes nice to me

 **tapw:** finn is here can we stop texting now

 **skep:** fine

**1:11 PM**

**megapvp:** if i were to talk i think id tell skeppy to shut up

 **zelk:** i agree

 **skep:** why am i even friends with u mega

 **skep:** every day i am bullied

 **skep:** eveyr day ia m met iwth pain help the teacherd telig me 2 put phone away

 **megapvp:** L

 **megapvp:** just watched skeppy get yelled at

 **megapvp:** nice

 **zelk:** deserved

 **megapvp:** he told me to tell you youre stupid btw

 **zelk:** ouch

 **tapw:** mega why didnt they tell you to put your phone away

 **megapvp:** idk she likes me better than skeppy

 **zelk:** i think most ppl are liked better than skeppy

 **megapvp:** stfu -sekpy

 **tapw:** he has such a way with words

 **zelk:** sekpy

 **tapw:** sekpy

 **tapw:** bbh change his name to sekpy when ur alive

 **zelk:** ^

 **megapvp:** ^

**2:18 PM**

_**badboyhalo** changed **skep's** username to **sekpy**_

**tapw:** nice

 **sekpy:** WTF BAD

 **sekpy:** AFTER I SAID I MISSED U

 **sekpy:** HPW COUDL U

 **badboyhalo:** sorry skeppy, the people requested it >.<

 **megapvp:** the people

 **megapvp:** is that all we are to you

 **megapvp:** nameless voices

 **sekpy:** u dont even have a voice what

 **megapvp:** i swear to god one day im going to

 **woman:** youre going to what

 **woman:** mega

 **spoofy:** i think we're about to find out

 **sekpy:** wiat mega pls

 **sekpy:** pls i doiknt want ot die

 **sekpy:** meha

 **sekpy:** mega pls

 **toepicspls:** no fear

 **toepicspls:** (angry mega)

 **toepicspls:** one fear

 **sekpy:** AGREE 

**sekpy:** mega pls 

**megapvp:** i wasnt going to do anything

 **megapvp:** thought itd be funny to scare u tho

 **woman:** wait no attack him please he deserves it

 **sekpy:** why

 **woman:** for the lols

 **megapvp:** im considering it

 **sekpy:** wait u cant

 **sekpy:** ull probabyl get sick

 **toepicspls:** we're all probably gonna get sick because we sat with you at lunch idiot

 **sekpy:** i sat farther away though :(

 **megapvp:** good

 **megapvp:** sit at a different table next time

 **sekpy:** ok well

 **sekpy:** ur stupid

 **sekpy:** stfu

**4:36 PM**

**badboyhalo:** im coming to school tomorrow :D

 **sekpy:** FINALLY

 **sekpy:** bad i miss u

 **toepicspls:** simp

 **sekpy:** nothign simpy about missing the homies

 **sekpy:** bad we can sit together :DDD 

**sekpy:** since we r sick

 **sekpy:** adn banished from society

 **spoofy:** you sat slightly farther away from us you are not banished from society

 **spoofy:** we are not a society what

 **toepicspls:** we live in a society </3

 **spoofy:** dont encourage him

 **sekpy:** so true vurb

 **toepicspls:** except for zak LOL he was exiled

 **sekpy:** so true vurb :(

 **badboyhalo:** skeppy we can start our own society :D

 **sekpy:** YEAH

 **skepy:** SCREW ALL OF U ME AND BAD R A SOCIETY

 **toepicspls:** u should call ur society skephalo

 **sekpy:** YEAH

 **sekpy:** WAIT NO STFU

 **toepicspls:** LOL

**6:17 PM**

**woman:** yo tapl

 **tapw:**?

 **woman:** high heelys right

 **woman:** perhaps we could

 **woman:** make them

 **tapw:** ACTUALLY???

 **woman:** i have so many pairs of heels dude

 **woman:** i wanna see what would happen

 **spoofy:** he will die thats what will happen

 **woman:** ill teach him how to walk in them first i promise

 **spoofy:** that does not reassure me at all but okay

 **woman:** thank you mr spoofy i will have him home by midnight

 **tapw:** since when is he my father

 **spoofy:** this is news to me too harv

 **spoofy:** my son

 **spoofy:** my pride and joy

 **tapw:** i feel so loved

 **tapw:** finn i will be at ur house in a few BE PREPARED

 **woman:** is that a threat

 **tapw:** its a promise

 **woman:** literally what does that mean what

 **tapw:** :L


	13. Private chats joined the game

**idots**

**4:20 AM**

**toepicspls:** haha drug number

 **badboyhalo:** why are you still awake? go to sleep >.<

 **toepicspls:** couldnt sleep :/

 **badboyhalo:** wait hold on

**badboyhalo & justvurb**

**4:22 AM**

**badboyhalo:** is everything alright? why couldnt you sleep?

 **badboyhalo:** didnt want to spam the others this late, sorry >.>

 **justvurb:** i assumed

 **justvurb:** idk i was up trying to study and just couldnt sleep

 **justvurb:** why are U up tho

 **badboyhalo:** rat wanted to be walked D:

 **justvurb:** i think you should eat her

 **badboyhalo:** NO

 **badboyhalo:** do you need help woth studying?

 **justvurb:** yeah dude im lost

 **justvurb:** its math

 **justvurb:** have a test coming up

 **justvurb:** and i just dont know what to do

 **badboyhalo:** how about this

 **badboyhalo:** we go to the library after school today

 **badboyhalo:** and i help you study :D

 **justvurb:** r u sure??? i can always just study on my own if its too much trouble

 **badboyhalo:** its no problem i promise :D

 **badboyhalo:** ill do my best to not get you sick, but no promises

 **justvurb:** YOURE A GODSEND

 **justvurb:** IM FINE WITH GETTING SICK ILL LIVE

 **badboyhalo:** just being a good friend :DD

 **badboyhalo:** im going to go back to sleep now, okay??

 **badboyhalo:** call me if you need anything

 **justvurb:** i think im gonna try to sleep

 **justvurb:** thank u bad

 **justvurb:** i appreciate u sm

**idots**

**7:03 AM**

**spoofy:** tapl i forgot to ask how did the high heelys thing go??

 **woman:** he could barely walk in regular heels LMAO im teaching him

 **tapw:** pain

 **tapw:** finn painted my nails tho :D

 **spoofy:** SHOW ME THEM

 **tapw:** BEFORE CLASS I WILL

 **spoofy:** POGG

**10:34 AM**

**megapvp:** thinking about anime girls

 **spoofy:** why

 **megapvp:** pretty

 **spoofy:** arent you supposed to be paying attention in class rn

 **megapvp:** anime girls

 **megapvp:** <333333333333333

 **megapvp:** also i finished my class work already stfu

 **zelk:** mega finished his work and immediately went into simp mode

 **megapvp:** always

 **megapvp:** everyone in this chat is a simp and i stand by that

 **spoofy:** i am no simp

 **megapvp:** dont you have a wife

 **spoofy:**????

 **spoofy:** oh wait

 **spoofy:** yeah i think vurbs my wife

 **tapw:** vurb is my mother????????????????

 **zelk:** this family tree is weird as hell

 **megapvp:** ^ im so lost

 **megapvp:** skeppy has 3 different marriages, vurb is spifeys wife, and tapl is their son???

 **toepicspls:** and somehow bad is everyones father

 **badboyhalo:** dadboyhalo :D

 **sekpy:** change ur naem

 **sekpy:** 2 dadboyhalo

 **sekpy:** rn

 **badboyhalo:** fine >.>

_**badboyhalo** changed their name to **dadboyhalo**_

**dadboyhalo:** happy?

 **sekpy:** :D

 **toepicspls:** skep u married your father????????????

 **sekpy:**???????????????????????????????????????????

 **sekpy:** WTF

 **zelk:** vurb sometimes its best to shut up

 **toepicspls:** oh so we can excuse marrying your father but not calling it out

 **megapvp:** how do i leave the family

 **tapw:** you can only leave by death

 **megapvp:** tempting

 **tapw:** :( dont u enjoy our family????

 **megapvp:** not at all no

 **sekpy:** meag u suck

 **woman:** mega marry me

 **megapvp:** no

 **woman:** damn

 **woman:** zak take me back pls

 **woman:** im broken without u </3

 **sekpy:** good

 **sekpy:** idiot

 **spoofy:** do you guys just never pay attention in class

 **toepicspls:** think about who ur asking

 **toepicspls:** think rlly hard about that

 **spoofy:** okay well

 **spoofy:** i like to keep some faith in my friends

 **megapvp:** bad choice theres zero hope here

 **sekpy:** ^

 **spoofy:** i have faith in bad at least

 **spoofy:** slightly

 **dadboyhalo:** :D thank you

 **toepicspls:** bad i dont think that was meant to be a compliment

 **sekpy:** shh dont ruin it hes happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope the private chat thing makes sense because this is assuming its smth like discord where you have a certain usernamer and then nicknames for other chats??? u get the vibes right


	14. Singular logs have contracted diseases

**idots**

**12:13 PM**

**spoofy:** imagine having to sit away from everyone because ur sick L

**sekpy:** stfu

**tapw:** can we stop texting when we can just communicate verbally

**tapw:** u guys keep doing this pls

**sekpy:** sorry but ive been banished from the nation and am forbidden tospeak with u

**tapw:** bad is literally talking to us

**sekpy:** stfu

**megapvp:** hes monologuing cant you tell

**tapw:** okay well he can take his mono log somewhere else

**tapw:** how does a log even catch mono wtf

**megapvp:** …

**spoofy:** no i think he meant like one singular log

**megapvp:** literallydie

**tapw:** mega ur so sweet do u know that

**tapw:** nicest person ive met

**megapvp:** yeah ok totally

**1:13 PM**

**zelk:** class is boring

**zelk:** i hate this

**woman:** legally you dont have to be in class

**dadboyhalo:** i dont think thats correct

**woman:** trust me i am a certified law maker person i know the law

**dadboyhalo:** you are? why didnt you ever tell us?? D:<

**woman:** its against the law

**woman:** wait

**zelk:** finn youre going to jail

**woman:** zelk youll be my one call <33

**zelk:** ew no

**woman:** damn okay then ill just call bad

**dadboyhalo:** :D

**woman:** bad would you pay millions of dollars to bail me out of jail?

**dadboyhalo:** probably not :)

**woman:** wtf i thought we were bros

**dadboyhalo:** but thats expensive...?

**zelk:** finn if it makes you feel better 

**zelk:** i wouldn’t bail you out either

**woman:** it doesnt, thanks :)

**badboyhalo & justvurb**

**2:40 PM**

**justvurb:** wya

**badboyhalo:** back corner of the library

**badboyhalo:** to the left of the door

**justvurb:** ty :))

**idots**

**3:00 PM**

**sekpy:** bad

**zelk:** isnt he helping vurb study rn

**sekpy:** oh

**sekpy:** i forgot

**zelk:** i noticed

**sekpy:** ok well since ur here ill just ask u

**sekpy:** if u were invincible and immortal

**zelk:** oh god

**sekpy:** SHUT UP

**sekpy:** ok so u cant die at all right

**zelk:** right

**sekpy:** so if you got like cemented into a road or something

**sekpy:** like u were buried in cement

**sekpy:** would u die????

**zelk:** zak

**sekpy:** yeah

**zelk:** wtf

**sekpy:** im just worried

**zelk:** youre worried youll become completely indestructible

**zelk:** and then get buried alive

**sekpy:** yes that exactly

**zelk:** if youll live forever and cant be killed by anything, just eat the cement

**sekpy:** thats smart

**sekpy:** thank u zelk

**zelk:** youre welcome? i think????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my initial plan was to only have 14 chapters but here we are and i plan on keeping this going for a while :)


	15. Vurb’s math arc slowly comes to a finish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updatesll be a lil less frequent these next few days, finals n all y’know

**idots**

**1:30 PM**

**toepicspls:** bout to take my math test

 **toepicspls:** nervous

 **sekpy:** U CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN U <3<3<3

 **toepicspls:** thank u brother

 **zelk:** youll do great vurb

 **dadboyhalo:** youve got this vurb :DD

 **megapvp:** you studied for the entirety of lunch i think ull do fine

 **spoofy:** LETS GO VURB

 **tapw:** VURB WOOO

 **woman:** I BELIEVE IN YOU VURB

 **toepicspls:** thank u guys sm ily all <333

**2:06 PM**

**toepicspls:** JUST FINISHED THE TEST

 **tapw:** DID YOU DO GOOD

 **toepicspls:** SHE ISNT GIVING THEM BACK UNTIL NEXT WEEK I DOTN KNOW

 **toepicspls:** BUT I UNDERSTOOD MOST OF THE TEST

 **tapw:** WOOOOO LETS GO

 **tapw:** POGCHAMP MOMENT

**3:45 PM**

**sekpy:** yo bad r u home rn

 **dadboyhalo:** yeah?? why??

 **sekpy:** im coming over

 **dadboyhalo:** why?

 **sekpy:** me take nap

 **dadboyhalo:** >.> okay

 **zelk:** you just go to his house to sleep???

 **sekpy:** comfy bed

 **sekpy:** me likey

 **zelk:** dont you have your own bed

 **sekpy:** his mom is nice :(

 **zelk:** SO IS YOUR MOM?????

 **sekpy:** ok well

 **sekpy:** shut up

 **toepicspls:** haha theyre going to sleep together

 **sekpy:** vurb i take back every nice thing i have ever said about u ever

 **toepicspls:** damn

 **zelk:** zak coming over to bbhs house just to nap seems a bit simpy imo

 **sekpy:** I AM NO SIMP

 **toepicspls:** skephalo <3

 **sekpy:** stfu

 **dadboyhalo:** aww skeppy its okay to simp for me :D

 **toepicspls:** LOL

 **zelk:** SIMP

 **sekpy:** i literally

 **sekpy:** bruh

 **sekpy:** shut up

**4:51 PM**

_**dadboyhalo** sent an image_

**dadboyhalo:** sleepy skeppy :3

 **woman:** blackmail material

 **woman:** thanks bad

 **megapvp:** gonna save that and send it every time hes being annoying

 **woman:** ^

 **zelk:** would be a bit hard to send it every five minutes but yeah

 **woman:** funny

 **zelk:** thank you, i try

**5:30 PM**

**sekpy:** WGAT

 **sekpy:** HWTAT THEFUCJ

 **zelk:** uh oh

 **sekpy:** BAD

 **sekpy:** WHT

 **sekpy:** IWILL LTIERALY

 **sekpy:** TAKE YOUR DOG

 **sekpy:** AND FEED HER TO THE SEWER RATS

 **woman:** thats such a specific threat

 **dadboyhalo:** YOU WOULD NEVER

 **sekpy:** IGS A PRKMSIR

 **sekpy:** I WILL

 **zelk:** ah yes

 **zelk:** a prkmsir

 **sekpy:** STUF ZLEK

 **woman:** yeah shut the up fuck zelk LMAO

 **dadboyhalo:** language >.>

 **sekpy:** : (

 **sekpy:** gonna go cry

 **sekpy:** hTe it here </3

 **woman:** L

 **sekpy:** damn

 **sekpy:** thought id get symphony from that ine

 **sekpy:** ididny mean symphony eait

 **zelk:** symphony

 **sekpy:** pls i dont

 **sekpy:** SYMPATHY THATS WHAT IT IS

 **woman:** how do u forget the word

 **sekpy:** its too early for think

 **woman:** its 5:30

 **zelk:** his brain doesnt activate until after midnight

 **sekpy:** stfu

 **zelk:** am i wrong??

 **sekpy:** no :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just deleted a banger draft i had of a techno centric fic and im angry i didnt mean to delete it :(((


	16. Megapvp rights!!! Megapvp rights!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter woopsierisssssss

**idots**

**11:13 AM**

**megapvp:** can someone come hug me

**megapvp:** im sad

**spoofy:** mega ill give u a hug

**tapw:** WHY ARE YOU SAD

**tapw:** caps sorry

**tapw:** dont be sad :((((((

**megapvp:** my teacher yelled at me

**megapvp:** and i was already hvaing a bad day to begin with

**megapvp:** and im tired

**megapvp:** wanna cry lol

**spoofy:** i will literally

**spoofy:** leave class to fight ur teacher

**spoofy:** rn

**tapw:** ^^^^^^

**megapvp:** nah u dont hwve to do anything

**megapvp:** im just

**megapvp:** upset

**spoofy:** okay but

**spoofy:** ill give u a hug rn if you can leave class

**spoofy:** i give good hugs u cant turn me down

**tapw:** VOUCH

**megapvp:** yea ill just ask to use the restroom

**spoofy:** :)

**tapw:** geo ill cover for u if the teacher asks where u went

**zelk:** why did spifey leave ????

**tapw:** scroll up

**zelk:** ohhh

**zelk:** mega we’re all here for u if u ever need anything <333

**tapw:** ^

**megapvp:** <333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay last chapter for a little bit i really gotta focus on school work now : )


	17. Telepathic warfare against your teachers

**idots**

**11:49 AM**

**woman:** mega what teacher was being mean i will

 **woman:** ruin their life

 **woman:** on god

 **megapvp:** ive considered the offer

 **megapvp:** but i got a hug

 **megapvp:** and i am at peace with life now

 **spoofy:** :))

 **woman:** thats good

 **woman:** but if it happens again

 **woman:** your teacher will die

 **zelk:** i feel like threatening the life of a teacher isnt the best thing to do

 **woman:** well i didnt mean physically so its not a threat

 **zelk:**??????

 **megapvp:** ^ what tf does that mean

 **woman:** :)

 **spoofy:** finn wakes up and chooses violence

 **zelk:** non physical violence

 **woman:** im going to mentally beat someone up

 **megapvp:** you mean verbally??

 **woman:** no im going to telepathically fist fight someone

 **toepicspls:** ur going to fist someone???

 **woman:** NO

 **toepicspls:** wait i misread that

 **toepicspls:** oh god

 **zelk:** jesus christ vurb

 **toepicspls:** im not a smart man

 **megapvp:** really? i wouldve never guessed

 **toepicspls:** why are you so mean to me :(

 **spoofy:** vurb everyones mean to you

 **spoofy:** its justified

 **toepicspls:** :(

**1:26 PM**

**tapw:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **tapw:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **tapw:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **sekpy:** bro wtf

 **tapw:** what

 **sekpy:** ur literally

 **sekpy:** screaming

 **tapw:** its fun to do :L

 **sekpy:** stfu

 **tapw:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **sekpy:** fine

 **sekpy:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **tapw:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **sekpy:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **sekpy:** AAAAAAAAAA

 **sekpy:** will u stop now

 **tapw:** SCREAM POG

 **zelk:** both of you

 **zelk:** shut up

 **sekpy:** dont blame me i was doing it for the greater good of humanity

 **zelk:** yeah okay sure

 **sekpy:** I WAS

 **tapw:** aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **sekpy:** harv i swear to god

 **tapw:** :L

**5:04 PM**

**toepicspls:** haha megapvp more like

 **toepicspls:** more like

 **megapvp:**?

 **toepicspls:** megapp

 **megapvp:** jokes on you bad would never change my name to that

 **toepicspls:** bruh moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo im back hi :) i have some ideas for upcoming chapters but i wanna know if theres any specific ppl anyone wants to see more chapters centered around?? i always have a problem with accidentally centering too much of the plot on like 2 people and i wanna balance it out more idk


	18. Fight god, then we'll talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have half an hour left of dec 3rd this chapter is justified

**idots**

**12:00 AM**

**spoofy:** DO YOU INOW WHAT DAY IT IS

 **spoofy:** THE THIRD OF DECEMBER

 **dadboyhalo:** ??

 **sekpy:** do u not know the song bad

 **dadboyhalo:** what song??

 **sekpy:** heather??

 **dadboyhalo** : no????

 **sekpy:** D:

 **spoofy:** im personally offended

 **tapw:** WHY WJOUDL YOU EVER KISS MR

 **sekpy:** IM NTOT EVEN HAKF AS PRETTG

 **spoofy:** YOU GAVE HER YOUR SWEATER

 **dadboyhalo:** im confused >.<

 **sekpy:** i hate u

 **zelk:** spifey i miss when all youd listen to was that one clairo song

 **tapw:** zelk you ruined the vibe

 **zelk:** i think it was called sophia??

 **zelk:** cry about it

 **spoofy:** its called SOFIA you uncultured furry

 **zelk:** ah yes, IM the furry

 **spoofy:** your minecraft skin is an animal

 **zelk:** isnt yours a beaver??

 **spoofy:** yeah but those arent real right

 **zelk:** ?????????

 **tapw:** yeah spifey totally

 **tapw:** banger message

 **tapw:** yup

 **spoofy:** wait

 **spoofy:** streaks dhmu just found out im a furry

 **sekpy:** ur an idiot

 **spoofy:** :(

**7:14 AM**

**spoofy:** just drank 3 cups of coffee i think i couldd beat up god if i wanted to

 **toepicspls:** bro???

 **megapvp:** amateur numbers. drink more

 **spoofy:** bet

 **dadboyhalo:** please dont D:

 **spoofy:** you think im going to be humiliated by mega

 **spoofy:** i wil mnot stand for this

 **woman:** aight everyone place ur bets when will geo crash

 **sekpy:** before noon

 **dadboyhalo:** hopefully never..?

 **toepicspls:** bad ur no fun

 **sekpy:** ^^^

 **toepicspls:** 9 am 

**megapvp:** 3pm

 **tapw:** does the crash have to be from caffeine specifically

 **tapw:** or can i deck him at a certain time and win

 **woman:** im sorry what

 **tapw:** can i say i think he'll crash at 8am, punch him at 8, and then win??

 **dadboyhalo:** NO VIOLENCE!!

 **zelk:** ^ remember what happened last time you punched spifey

 **spoofy:** how can such a short man hold so much rage

 **tapw:** im literally

 **tapw:** im going to punch you

**11:35 AM**

**tapw:** HE FELL ASLEEP

 **zelk:** HE CRASHED

 **zelk:** WHO WINS THE BET

 **woman:** vurb, i think?

 **sekpy:** wait but i said before nooon :(

 **woman:** u werent specific 

**woman:** idiot

 **sekpy:** askhfsajfjawpiuej

 **tapw:** i think hes dead 

**toepicspls:** i won??? YOO

 **sekpy:** stfu vurb

 **zelk:** he looks dead

 **toepicspls:** imagine dying LOL

 **toepicspls:** what a loser

 **woman:** im gonna look so good at his funeral

 **woman:** rest in peace i guess tho

 **tapw:** i want one of those umbrellas that u see mysterious women hold at funerals

 **tapw:** like in the movies

 **sekpy:** r u a mysterious woman

 **tapw:** yeah

 **sekpy:** fair enough

 **dadboyhalo:** spiffy could be dead and you guys are planning your funeral outfits??

 **sekpy:** hes probably fine idk

 **sekpy:** BAD WE COULD MATCH

 **toepicspls:** yeah go as a maid and a butler

 **toepicspls:** couples costume :)

 **sekpy:** ur just jealous ok

**11:46 AM**

**spoofy:** imnot de afd u yguys are jerkds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just finished the last of my finals prepare for more frequent updates


	19. Fight me under the light of the christmas tree

**idots**

**4:19 AM**

**toepicspls:** have u guys seen that one post about the thing

 **zelk:** yeah totally

 **toepicspls:** shut up i was explaining

 **toepicspls:** so mistletoe right? u gotta kiss under it n shit

 **spoofy:** vurb if this is an elaborate plan to make out with your friends i dont think itll work

 **toepicspls:** i mean

 **toepicspls:** unless u want to

 **spoofy:** wtf

 **toepicspls:** anyways the idea was that instead of kissing under it

 **toepicspls:** u get in a physical fight w them

 **toepicspls:** and they called it mistlefoes

 **toepicspls:** i want to do that

 **zelk:** there is no possible way that would end well

 **tapw:** my chance to kill geo rises once again

 **spoofy:** kill??? KILL???

 **zelk:** wasnt the plan just to punch him?

 **tapw:** oh

 **tapw:** i misspoke

 **tapw:** i mean punch :) haha :)

 **spoofy:** is it because you lost the bet

 **spoofy:** is that why

 **tapw:** well

 **toepicspls:** i dont think murder is legal on school property

 **zelk:** hes literally ready to kill you but you think hed draw the line at school rules???

 **tapw:** i would

 **toepicspls:** he would

 **tapw:** wtf zelk i have moral

 **spoofy:** yeah zelk he has morals

 **spoofy:** wait

**7:04 AM**

**megapvp:** u guys are the reason i have this chat muted

 **sekpy:** hehe

 **megapvp:** skeppy i swear to god do not make the joke

 **sekpy:** tgat wasnt even the joke i was gonna make

 **megapvp:** what

 **megapvp:** what joke were you going to make

 **sekpy:** ok i was going to make the joke ur thimking of

 **megapvp:** of course you were

 **sekpy:** i an a simple man

 **sekpy:** i see word mute i say joke

 **megapvp:** ur an idiot

 **sekpy:** but im your idiot <333

 **megapvp:** gross wtf

**11:36 AM**

**woman:** i think we should do the mistlefoes thing vurb

 **woman:** ill fight someone and win

 **toepicspls:** fight me finn ill literally win

 **tapw:** have u seen finns nails?? he stabs you once and youre dead

 **woman:** just the egirl lifestyle keeping me powerful

 **tapw:** i want powerful nails :(

 **toepicspls:** first the heels now the nails ur 3 steps away from becoming finn

 **tapw:** becoming him so i can defeat and replace him

 **woman:** i thought you were after spifey?

 **tapw:** ur all british what does it matter :L

 **woman:** wow okay what if i couldnt tell you bad zelk or skep apart

 **tapw:** then youd be really dumb

 **woman:** stfu


	20. 1234 Divorces

**idots**

**12:34 PM**

**tapw:** yoooooo look at the time

**tapw:** 1234

**dadboyhalo:** :0 its in order

**tapw:** YEAH

**tapw:** NUMBER POG

**toepicspls:** im surprised u guys know how to count

**tapw:** :(

**dadboyhalo:** youre a mean muffin, vurb >:0

**toepicspls:** damn ok bad

**1:50 PM**

**toepicspls:** hey skeppy

**sekpy:** yes

**toepicspls:** wanna play minecraft

**sekpy:** like.. rn??? 

**sekpy:** im kind of in class

**toepicspls:** i meant later idiot

**toepicspls:** im in class too

**sekpy:** oh

**sekpy:** well i just

**sekpy:** yeah

**zelk:** if youre in class why are you on your phone?

**sekpy:** UR LITERALLY

**sekpy:** stfu

**zelk:** srry but i actually pay attention enough to be able to do this

**sekpy:** bro :(

**sekpy:** its vurbs fault

**toepicspls:** i just asked a question

**toepicpspls:** you didnt have to answer

**sekpy:** BRUHH

**dadboyhalo:** all of you should be paying attention right now >.>

**dadboyhalo:** especially you, skeppy

**toepicspls:** LOL

**sekpy:** i am paying attention though :((

**dadboyhalo:** your heads been on your desk for the past five minutes

**dadboyhalo:** i only opened this chat to make sure you didn’t die >:0

**sekpy:** >:((

**zelk:** uh oh marriage troubles

**toepicspls:** we’re witnessing their 53rd divorce

**skeppy & badboyhalo**

**2:01 PM**

**skeppy:** BAD 

**skeppy:** bad

**skeppy:** im gonna cry if u dont answe rme

**badboyhalo:** WHAT

**skeppy:** hi :)

**badboyhalo:** is that all?

**skeppy:** wait no what r we doing in class right now please im lost

**badboyhalo:** seriously? the teacher JUST went over everything

**skeppy:** i was texting the others for like

**skeppy:** half of it

**skeppy:** bad olease

**badboyhalo:** fine

**badboyhalo:** come sit next to me

**skeppy:** we can pick seats??

**badboyhalo:** you seriously werent listening, huh?

**skeppy:** stfu im coming over

**idots**

**2:05 PM**

**toepicspls:** bro

**toepicspls:** hello where did all of you go

**sekpy:** iam LEARNING shutuup

**dadboyhalo:** hes not learning

**dadboyhalo:** im doing the work and HES copying off of me

**sekpy:** i hate u

**dadboyhalo:** D:

**sekpy:** wait no i didnt mean it bad pls im sorry

**toepicspls:** simp

**zelk:** are you guys sitting together texting each other?????

**sekpy:** oh yeah

**sekpy:** oops bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to properly look at bbhs texting style i keep making him so monotone woops


	21. Drinking candle wax to feel hot

**idots**

**3:07 AM**

**zelk:** where does the wax from a candle go when it melts

 **woman:** it becomes liquid

 **woman:** duh

 **zelk** : yeah but a whole entire candle

 **zelk:** how does it melt down so much

 **woman:** buddy its 3 am stop making me think

 **zelk:** do you think i enjoy thinking about candles at 3 am

 **woman:** i mean

 **woman:** you never know

 **zelk:** DUDE

 **woman:** IM JUST SAying that you COULD enjoy thinking about candles

 **woman:** im not going to judge 

**zelk:** im going to bed

**6:45 AM**

**megapvp:** zelk candle wax literally evaporates

 **megapvp:** it takes 1 google search to find this out

 **toepicspls:** can u vape with evaporated candles

 **megapvp:** vurb stop talking

 **megapvp:** please

 **dadboyhalo:** drink the melted candles :D

 **toepicspls:** finally

 **toepicspls:** youve contributed something smart

 **dadboyhalo:** thank you :DD

 **dadboyhalo:** wait

 **zelk:** mega you are always so late to conversations

 **megapvp:** i mute the chat

 **megapvp:** im not willing to wake up to discuss candles

 **megapvp:** at 3 am

 **woman:** lame

 **megapvp:** stfu

**12:06 PM**

**toepicspls:** harv where r u

 **toepicspls:** ur always at lunch early

 **tapw:** im

 **tapw:** climcbing in to a cupboard

 **spoofy:** ?????

 **tapw:** techno said hed give me 5 bucks

 **sekpy:** and ur just going to believe him???

 **tapw:** he paid me in advance

 **tapw:** i tjink he just locked me in here

 **tapw:** HELP

 **sekpy:** why tf would u climb into a cupboard around techno

 **zelk:** at least its not a locker

 **megapvp:** deserved

 **tapw:** :(

 **dadboyhalo:** what room are you in? ill come get you :)

 **tapw:** thanks dad

 **tapw:** bad*

 **sekpy:** DAD LMFOA

 **spoofy:** father halo

 **toepicpls:** dad more like

 **sekpy:** pls do not finish taht sentnece

 **dadboyhalo:** no problem, son :D

 **tapw:** bad

 **tapw:** i dont know what room im in

 **zelk:** well sucks to suck i guess

 **megapvp:** ^ suffer

 **toepicspls:** just go ask techno where he is ???

 **dadboyhalo:** D: HES SCARY

 **sekpy:** hes literally afraid of u

 **woman:** wtf why

 **woman:** imagine fearing BAD

 **dadboyhalo:** whats that supposed to mean? im scary >:D

**badboyhalo & technothepig**

**12:10PM**

**badboyhalo:** where is my son?

 **technothepig:** i wasnt aware you were a father

 **technothepig:** congratulations?

 **badboyhalo:** no, you muffin >.>

 **badboyhalo:** where is tapl?

 **technothepig:** you're tapls father?

 **technothepig:** hes in room 106 btw

 **badboyhalo:** thank you :)

 **technothepig:** pog

**idots**

**12:13 PM**

**dadboyhalo:** room 106 

**dadboyhalo:** on my way tapl

 **tapw:** :L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my updates r getting inconsistent but believe me i am trying


	22. Being bribed with half a donut doesn't sound so bad

**idots**

**12:27 PM**

**dadboyhalo:** SKEPPY

 **dadboyhalo:** SKEPPY

 **dadboyhalo:** ANSWER ME 

**dadboyhalo:** SKEPPY

 **toepicspls:** haha relationship problems

 **dadboyhalo:** OH MY GOODNESS SKEPPY ANSWER ME

 **sekpy:** WGAT

 **sekpy:** BAD

 **sekpy:** hi :)

 **sekpy:** LMFAOO BAD WHAT

 **sekpy:** BAD HELLO???

 **dadboyhalo:** WHY

 **dadboyhalo:** IS MY LOCKER

 **dadboyhalo:** FILLED WITH GLITTER

 **sekpy:** WHY DO YUO IMMEDITAETLY ASSUME I DID IT HUH

 **sekpy:** WHAT IF I DIDNT

 **dadboyhalo:** oh

 **dadboyhalo:** did you?

 **dadboyhalo:** sorry, i just assumed D:

 **spoofy:** skeppy i literally watched you do it

 **dadboyhalo:** AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO STOP HIM

 **dadboyhalo:** YOU DUNDERHEAD

 **dadboyhalo:** IM COVERED IN GLITTER

 **spoofy:** i was bribed

 **dadboyhalo:** he BRIBED you?

 **sekpy:** WAIT NO

 **sekpy:** NO

 **sekpy:** u were given a half eaten donut that is nto a bribe

 **spoofy:** 'geo ill let u eat the rest of this if u dont tell bad'

 **dadboyhalo:** WHAT

 **spoofy:** sounds like a bribe

 **dadboyhalo:** you muffinheads D:<

 **dadboyhalo:** im going to be late to class because of this :(

 **sekpy:** wiat no ill help clean up

 **toepicspls:** simp

 **spoofy:** ^

 **sekpy:** stfu

 **sekpy:** bad ill clean ur locker so u arent late to class

 **toepicspls:** isnt it hard to clean up glitter

 **toepicspls:** L

 **sekpy:** im going to put glitter in ur 

**sekpy:** nvm

 **sekpy:** omw bad

 **dadboyhalo:** thank you skeppy :D but ill get you back for this >:D

 **spoofy:** since when are you good at trolling people

 **spoofy:** id pay to see this

 **dadboyhalo:** hey D: im good at trolling

 **toepicspls:** you bought mega a muffin and called it a troll

 **dadboyhalo:** but it wasnt his favorite type of muffin!!!

 **dadboyhalo:** you shouldve seen the look on his face!!

 **spoofy:** ah yes

 **spoofy:** mild disappointment

 **toepicspls:** LOL

 **toepicspls:** but yeah, bad, u kinda suck at trolls

 **dadboyhalo:** im going to prove to you ALL that im good at trolling >:(

 **dadboyhalo:** then youll be sorry

 **sekpy:** wait am i still the target of this i didnt doubt ur abilities

 **sekpy:** i hate u guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter because im about to zzzz  
> +155 kudos pog <33


	23. Vurb's math arc epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if i was clear about this but  
> 1st period 8am -9am  
> 2nd period 9:05am -10am  
> 3rd period 10:05am -11am  
> 4th period 11:05am -12pm  
> lunch 12pm -12:30pm  
> 5th period 12:35pm -1:30pm  
> 6th period 1:35pm -2:30pm  
> dpes this make sense because i have al ist of who has class with who as well if u wanna know

**idots**

**1:40 PM**

**toepicspls:** YOOOOOOOO

 **toepicspls:** I GOT A B+

 **toepicspls:** LETS GO

 **megapvp:** told u u could do it

 **sekpy:** IM SO PROUD OF U

 **tapw:** POGGERS

 **dadboyhalo:** :DDD

 **dadboyhalo:** im proud of you vurb :D

 **toepicspls:** thank u guys <333

 **spoofy:** great job vurb!!

 **zelk:** but you didnt get an a?? wowwwwwwwwwww

 **zelk:** im kidding, gj vurb

 **woman:** great job dude!!!

 **toepicspls:** :)

**3:05 PM**

**spoofy:** guys what if i buy a maid dress

 **megapvp:** oh god not another one

 **sekpy:** rlly copying me huh

 **sekpy:** smh

 **spoofy:** :(

 **sekpy:** do it

 **sekpy:** i felt so pretty

 **sekpy:** magical experience

 **megapvp:** since when can you spell experience

 **sekpy:** mega i am smatrer than u think ok

 **sekpy:** this is embarassing nvm

 **megapvp:** L

 **spoofy:** im buying a maid dress

 **sekpy:** pog

**5:46 PM**

**dadboyhalo:** rat just ate my dinner while i was grabbing a fork >.>

 **woman:** what were you eating?

 **dadboyhalo:** a baked potato :D

 **woman:** nah you deserved that

 **dadboyhalo:** D:

 **woman:** what else did you have? pickle chips?

 **dadboyhalo:** no..........

 **woman:** bad.

 **dadboyhalo:** I HAD A FEW

 **dadboyhalo:** OKAY?

 **woman:** i hope rat eats all of ur food forever

 **woman:** i feel bad for her ngl

 **woman:** terrible diet ngl

 **dadboyhalo:** >.>


	24. Skeppy declares war on his ex-ex-ex-ex-husband

**idots**

**12:00 PM**

**sekpy:** WHAGFHJADSF

 **woman:**???

 **woman:** you good dude?

 **sekpy:** BAD

 **sekpy:** FUCK YUO

 **sekpy:** WGATYJTE FUCK

 **sekpy:** what the fucjk

 **sekpy:** hwy

 **sekpy:** you ptu

 **sekpy:** spider

 **sekpy:** lcoker

 **woman:** LMAOO HE ACTUALLY GOT YOU

 **dadboyhalo:** i have no idea what youre talking about, skeppy :)

 **sekpy:** literally

 **sekpy:** stfu

 **sekpy:** i hate you

 **sekpy:** so much

 **sekpy:** im going to cry

 **zelk:** bad he filled your locker with glitter so you gave him trauma??

 **dadboyhalo:** i did no such thing :)

 **spoofy:** bbh wakes up and chooses violence every day

 **sekpy:** spiders

 **sekpy:** fake spiders there were spiDErs in my locker waht the fcjk

 **woman:** you broke him

 **dadboyhalo:** i told you id get him back >:D

 **sekpy:** ur paying for my therapy

 **sekpy:** fuck spiders

 **zelk:** kinda surprised you havent been languaged yet

 **dadboyhalo:** i figured id let him swear just this once :)

 **spoofy:** how considerate

 **sekpy:** i will get revenge

 **sekpy:** bet

 **zelk:** oh god is this like the prank war between u and vurb last year

 **sekpy:** :)

 **spoofy:** that was.. a thing

 **woman:** a thing that happened yep

 **sekpy:** listen ok we wont take it too far ok

 **woman:** because thats believable

 **sekpy:** SHUT UP i hat u

 **woman:** hat

 **sekpy:** stfu im gonna fill ur locker with glitter next

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters one day im popping off ok even tho this was shorter


	25. Can we pretend that paper airplanes in the classroom aren’t weird messages

**idots**

**1:01 PM**

**woman:** vurb if i get one more paper airplane thrown at me im going to lose it

 **toepicspls:** :)

 **megapvp:** be thankful, he could be throwing knives at you instead

 **woman:** why would he have knives

 **woman:** on school property

 **megapvp:** idk its always possible with vurb

 **dadboyhalo:** i can throw knives :D

 **toepicspls:** bad will you throw a knife at finn

 **woman:** what did i do to deserve this

 **woman:** what did i do

 **woman:** STOP THROWING PAPER AT ME

 **toepicspls:** u didnt read the message i wrote on it

 **woman:** 'send toe pics? ;)' is not something i would like to read

 **woman:** oh fuck

 **megapvp:**?

 **toepicspls:** THE TEACHER TOOK THE NOTE FROM HIM LOL

 **megapvp:** LMAO L

 **dadboyhalo:** vurb you better tell the teacher you wrote it >.>

 **toepicspls:** nah ill let finn be known as the toe guy of the school

 **dadboyhalo:** VURB

 **woman:** youre such a dick

 **dadboyhalo:** language >:0

 **woman:** i had to look my teacher IN THE EYES

 **woman:** AS HE READ THE WORDS ‘SEND TOE PICS’

 **toepicspls:** wow you like toe pics? creep

 **woman:** i want you to read your name

 **woman:** and say that again

 **toepicspls:** ok fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating for a while!! i think i did something to my leg and the pain in it has overridden all motivation to write LMAOOO


	26. I wish you’d get run iver by a reindeer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iim gonna pretend these next few chapters are in the days leading up to christmas because time is an illusion and yeah my sleep schedule hasnt been the best to where i could actively write stuff oopsies

**idots**

**2:04 PM**

**sekpy:** we should do

 **sekpy:** secret santa

 **sekpy:** pls

 **megapvp:** we're on break why do i have to go out of my way to see you

 **sekpy:** u see me every day at school stfu

 **dadboyhalo:** secret santa sounds like a great idea skeppy :D

 **sekpy:** ty bad :DDD <3

 **sekpy:** see mega?? im big brained

 **megapvp:** yeah ok

**3:26 PM**

**woman:** how would a secret santa work

 **sekpy:** idk

 **sekpy:** we put names in a hat

 **sekpy:**??????????

 **zelk:** as in papers with names or are you just planning on manifesting names into a hat?

 **sekpy:** ok literally

 **sekpy:** stfu

 **spoofy:** i say we put my name in 8 times and give me all the presents

 **zelk:** youd be buying yourself a present

 **spoofy:** im my own present

 **woman:** so if i were to gift you yourself

 **woman:** id have given you a gift right?

 **woman:** and youd have to buy yourself a different gift

 **spoofy:** so all of our names in that hat yeah?

 **woman:** idiot

**3:51 PM**

**toepicspls:** lets put bad in a box for skeppy

 **sekpy:** stfu

 **toepicspls:** you wouldnt want bad as a gift? damn

 **dadboyhalo:** you wouldnt? D:

 **sekpy:** wait no

 **dadboyhalo:** :(

 **sekpy:** NO

 **sekpy:** bad pls

 **sekpy:** ily

 **daboyhalo:** </3

 **sekpy:** ur existence is a gift to me alreafdy bad

 **sekpy:** i dont want you in a box

 **toepicspls:** wtf that got wholesome

 **dadboyhalo:** awww skeppy :DD

 **sekpy:** anyways

 **sekpy:** we meet up tomorrow 

**sekpy:** draw names out of hat

 **sekpy:** buy gift

 **sekpy:** ok????

 **toepicspls:** where are we meeting up then?

 **sekpy:** oh uh

 **sekpy:** my house???

 **sekpy:** noon

 **toepicspls:** aight

 **dadboyhalo:** okay :D

**4:56 PM**

**spoofy:** wait we’re doing this tomorrow

 **woman:** yes

 **woman:** your reading comprehension skills are awful

 **spoofy:** I WAS MAKING SURE

 **woman:** “we are meeting this day. at this time. okay?”

 **woman:** “when are we doing this?”

 **spoofy:** SHUT UP

 **woman:** idiot

**5:36 PM**

**megapvp:** beating up skeppy and taking rocco for myself tmrw

 **sekpy:** wait no

 **sekpy:** ??????????

 **tapw:** TAKE HIS DOG

 **tapw:** HE CANT STOP US BOTH ILL HELP YOU

 **megapvp:** skeppy if you draw my name for secret santa youre giving me rocco

 **zelk:** why do you want rocco so bad?

 **megapvp:** i live to bring skeppy pain and suffering

 **sekpy:** ????

 **megapvp:** its a mutual thing

 **sekpy:** ok yeah but my dog

 **sekpy:** he didnt do anything to u :(

 **megapvp** : he is but a pawn to my master plan

 **sekpy:** sotp acting like we r mortal enemies bruh

 **sekpy:** ur dramatic as hell

 **megapvp:** :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing an irl chapter as i publish this!!


	27. Secret santa but it feels like a threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh god irl chapter oh god oh fuck oh god ohno  
> (its shitty but whatevssssssss)

“Just take a paper out of the hat.” Skeppy said, holding out a baseball cap to Bad.

”But what if I grab my own name? What would I do then?”

”You-“ He sighed. “You would put the paper back, Bad. This isn’t a hard thing to do.”

Bad carefully removed a paper from the pile. He unfolded it, carefully holding it away from his friends to keep it secret.

_Skeppy._

Smiling to himself, he knew exactly what he was going to get his friend.

Vurb was next. “We’re not doing serious gifts, right?”

”Why,” Zelk started. “you want someone to send you toe pics?”

Vurb scoffed as he took a paper. “I- no! I was asking for Zak, in case he wanted to, y’know, buy Bad a weddi-“

”Shut the fuck up!” Skeppy laughed, shoving Vurb away. “Go bother Harvey, or something.”

Tapl, upon hearing that, looked up at his friends with wide eyes. He shook his head, remembering the day Vurb had tried to hunt him down.

Vurb laughed as he unfolded his slip of paper to read the name _Bad._

Plan in mind already, he stuffed the paper in his pocket and began searching through his phone for a specific picture.

Skeppy went next, reaching into the hat he held with his other hand.

”Oh,” he said, mischief clear in his voice.

He had drawn Mega’s paper.

”I don't like that tone,” Zelk said, “that only ever means you’re up to trouble.”

Skeppy grinned at him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He held out the hat to Zelk. “Your turn!”

Zelk pulled his paper out and wasted no time opening it.

_Vurb._

Just his luck, he’d get Vurb. At least he wasn’t receiving a gift from him, he could only imagine what Vurb would be getting him.

Tapl grabbed his paper, not waiting to be told to grab it. “Praying I don’t get Vurb.” He joked.

_Finn._

Tapl was okay with this. More than okay, actually, as he had just the gift idea in mind for Finn.

Skeppy handed the last three papers to Mega, Spifey, and Finn.

”Why don’t we get to pick our own?” Finn asked, “Everyone else did.”

”I’m impatient, dude.”

Mega rolled his eyes as he typed out a message on his phone

 _You’re just annoying lol—_ It read.

”Just- shut up!” Skeppy smacked Mega with the hat. “Idiot.”

Mega looked at his paper. He’d drawn Zelk’s name, while his other two friends did the same. (Finn had drawn Spifey while Spifey drew Tapl).

“Is that all?” Bad asked, clapping his hands together.

”I think so,” Skeppy replied, “what do we do now?”

”Well, Spifey’s already broken into your fridge, so..” Zelk motioned towards their friend, who was rummaging through Skeppy’s food.

”..I’ll turn on a movie.” He said.

**idots**

**5:42 PM**

**woman:** skep that movie sucked

 **sekpy:** did u seriously

 **sekpy:** wait until u got home to tell me that

 **woman:** yes

 **woman:** it was a shitty movie

 **dadboyhalo:** hey!!! i liked the movie :(

 **zelk:** yeah thats because youre a simp

 **woman:** nothing was good about the movie

 **woman:** rudolph is annoying as hell dude

 **sekpy:** THE WHOLE POINT IS TO NOT BULLY RUDOLPH?????

 **zelk:** no he definitely deserved it

 **sekpy:** bruh

 **dadboyhalo:** ^ you guys are a bunch of mean muffins :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please bear with me on my late xmas chapters <33


	28. Wishing death upon your friends in the true spirit of christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HIIII LMAO SORRY FOR DIPPING FOR SO LONG IM BACK :DD WE STILL ON DA CHRISTMAS TIMELINE DOE

**idots**

**2:03 PM**

**zelk:** did everyone drop off their gifts

 **dadboyhalo:** yes :D

 **tapw:** yes

 **megapvp:** and what if i didnt?

 **dadboyhalo:** you will be hunted for sport :D

 **megapvp:** oh

 **toepicspls:** im sure skeppy would love to be hunted by bad

 **sekpy:** vurb

 **toepicspls:** yes

 **sekpy:** vurb.

 **toepicspls:** skeppy

 **sekpy:** stfu

 **spoofy:** no no let him speak, he’s right

 **woman:** i dropped mine off at the house

 **woman:** that its supposed to be at

 **woman:** i meant

 **dadboyhalo:** :D great! we can all open them on christmas

 **sekpy:** why cant we open them now :(

 **megapvp:** that ruins the whole point

 **sekpy:** mega should be hunted for sport

 **zelk:** on christmas? what happened to the christmas spirit?

 **sekpy:** its not christmas yet i say death to mega

 **megapvp:** ??????

 **megapvp:** literally illegal but ok

 **sekpy:** im willing to take the risk

 **sekpy:** if it means i never have to hear u again

 **sekpy:** see

 **sekpy:** i meant see

 **woman:** skeppy i dont think you have to go as far as murder to stop hearing mega

 **sekpy:** SHUT UP

 **tapw:** yeah thats a bit extreme

 **sekpy:** i hate u all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave it to me to write chapters about christmas a month after christmas, right?  
> (longer chapters to come!!)


	29. Spreading christmas cheer one argument at a time

**idots**

**1:03 AM**

**sekpy:** itschristmas :D

 **zelk:** christmas eve

 **sekpy:** do you live only to suck the joy from my life

 **zelk:** isnt that vurbs job every time he makes a skephalo joke

 **sekpy:** everyone in this chat is ehre to ruin my day :(

 **dadboyhalo:** im not D:

 **sekpy:** shut up

 **dadboyhalo:** someones moody..

 **sekpy:** I AM NOT STFU

 **sekpy:** fuck you

 **sekpy:** im goingn to sleep

 **dadboyhalo:** WHAT

 **dadboyhalo:** language >:O

 **woman:** i have never seen someones mood change so fast

 **zelk:** ^

 **dadboyhalo:** hes just cranky, dont mind him

 **woman:** i can tell

**3:06 AM**

**tapw:** i want mcdonalds

 **tapw:** will someone buy me mcdonalds

 **megapvp:** its 3am

 **tapw:** okay??? yes or no

 **megapvp:** why cant you just order some online

 **tapw:** im broke

 **megapvp:** ask someone with money

 **tapw:** but zak is asleep :L

 **megapvp:** thank god

 **spoofy:** i will order you mcdonalds if it means you two will stop spamming the chat at 3am

 **tapw:** yes pls

 **megapvp:** thank you

 **megapvp:** gn

 **spoofy:** night mega

 **tapw:** bye mega!!

**12:03 PM**

**sekpy:** good morning idots

 **dadboyhalo:** do you have something to say to me? >.>

**sekpy:** im sorry for swearing at you

 **dadboyhalo:** and?

 **sekpy:** and telling you to shut the fuck up

 **dadboyhalo:** and?

 **sekpy:** and being cranky

 **dadboyhalo:** :) there we go

 **toepicspls:** skep its noon

 **sekpy:** shut up

 **toepicspls:** you slept for 11 hours???

 **sekpy:** i need my beauty sleep thank u

 **megapvp:** i think you should sleep some more

 **megapvp:** obviously its not working

 **toepicspls:** LOLL

 **sekpy:** SHUT UP I HATE YOU ALL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im already sidetracked as hell on this but what if.. separate angst oneshot.. song fic.. what if i.....

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dude, What the Hell.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009131) by [junipersand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/junipersand/pseuds/junipersand)




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